I present to you the Big City Slider Station, as seen on TV being pimped by the face of infomercials, Billy Mays. This was a wedding gift that I've been dying to use. The one thing that i actually made sure to register for. It's time to make dreams come true.
Step 1:
Find box with Billy Mays' carpet face on it. This ensures that you have the real deal and not some cheap, pathetic knockoff. You'd be a fool to show up to a cook out with a Jeff Foxworthy "Ol Country Baby Burg Factory."
Step 2:
Retrieve meat scoop from box. If lost, use granddad's butter pecan ice cream scoop; exact same thing. Proceed to pack thawed meat into scoop. This gives you a starting point as to how much meat you need per patty.
Step 3:
Slap meat globes into individual station pods.
Step 4:
Place station occupied with meat onto stove set to medium heat. Find ground beef torture device known as the meat press and begin to press down on balls. Don't be shy, apply some pressure to flatten meat.
Peep them patties. You'll notice they plump up a bit and are no where near the size you intended. At this point, I advise you find that misleading bastard of a meat scoop and bury it in the backyard. Fool me once, I grave your ass.
Step Incredible:
Step Incredible:
Dress up your mini buns with the appropriate attire. Due to the tiny nature of your perfectly cooked mini patties, you'll probably have to go two deep per bun. Not ideal, but the issue has been resolved in step 5. Now enjoy your mini burgers and reflect on how easy and pain free it was to make. Also, check that you put shovel back in garage.
If this tickles your toes like it did mine, be sure to check out the Big City Slider Station web site for all sorts of great ideas. WARNING: Site contains video of Billy Mays. It's recommended to have tissues near by.
