Sunday, July 19, 2009

B holes vs Cini minis


After watching those amazing ads for Hardee's B holes, I had to try a box (I guess I'm a sucker for suggestive ads). Instead of just buying a box of brown balls, I decided to put them up against another popular mini breakfast dunkable; the cini mini from BK.

Popping the tops
Time to drop the tops and reveal the treasures hidden within. The Hardee's box comes with 6 balls, or you can upgrade to a 12 banger. BK's box comes in the form of a 4 pack with no upgrade available. The b hole chest is rather loose with a ton of headroom causing the balls to roll and bounce all over the place, struggling to find a fit. The cini package is nice and tight with the 4 buns comfortably nested leaving little wiggle room. Also something to note, the cini crate has a fully perforated hinge so you could remove the lid and use it as a serving tray. Breakfast in bed for an extremely lucky individual.

Glamour shots
Close ups to give you a better idea of what you're slapping into your taste factory. The b holes look dusty with a hardened exterior shell. The cini minis have a nice gloss finish to make them appear moist and sticky. Both look as if they could make a mess if you're not careful and controlled with your dunking.

Testing the dunk
Hardee's throws in a cup of icing that appears to be somewhat of an after thought. Simply a condiment thrown into the bag with little care as to wether it's used or not. BK incorporates it's icing bucket directly into the box by giving it it's own personal holster so you will never be without your cup-o-cream. The icing from Hardee's is very thin and transparent, almost watery. The mouth of the bucket is rather large and with the b holes being on the smaller side, you're bound to loose a thumb in the deep end. BK's icing has much more body to it. It coats the bun rather than simply adding a layer of shine. BK's smaller cream pool and larger cinnamon mouth piece forces the handler to do some cramming when it comes to scraping up the last bit of frost.

Verdict
Both breakfast treats were rather dry, with the cini minis being slightly drier. The thicker frosting that accompanies BK's dry buns definitely helps reduce the problem. The b holes had a slightly crunchy shell and were overall chewier than expected. The b holes tasted like a ball of batter fried to hell and back, dusted slightly with a pinch of cinnamon. Did I mention the balls were chewy? The cini minis simply tasted like dried out, day old cinnamon rolls; to be expected. Surprisingly, the b holes smelled strangely similar to a 100% angus burger, not saying it really hurt the situation, just odd. The cini minis filled the bag, car, room, and mouth with the smell of freshly baked, slightly aged sticky buns. I love sticky buns. A 6 shooter of b holes will run you $1.59 where a 4 stack of cini minis will set you back $1.07. If you can't tell by now which treat I prefer than you must be on blackout testing mode. The cini minis are an easy win for me. Don't get me wrong, you'll regret eating either of them, but if the option is there, wake up with the king.

Hardee's,
I love your b hole ads, a lot, but I'll be honest, I just don't want your dusty brown balls in my mouth. I'm afraid that when it comes down to it, I just prefer the taste of the King's frosty buns. I'll still watch your ads and laugh internally, but I can't see myself picking you up anytime soon.

5 comments:

  1. This review is worthy of some sort of food magazine. I felt like I could almost taste those dusty brown balls.

    Just by looking at them, I can tell the Cini Minis are better. The B holes look like stomach grenades.

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  2. best food review ever. whenever you want to start an omaha branch of cirque du savory let me know. however, i fear that may be like asking tiger woods to join my putt putt team.

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  3. bravo. I must admit I wanted at first to skip to the end to discover your choice, but your word phrasing and pictures as an added treat made me read with eager anticipation. I feel that hardee's needs to read this and either change their final product or get out of the breakfast danish competition all together.

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  4. i sent this to people. that's how much i liked it.

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  5. that was phenomenal!! i just about left to pick up the king's sticky buns. glad i didn't after i read the line about regretting it. thanks ryan, you're a life savor.. :) yep like the candy

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